Willie, Rants, and more

Before we get to the NBA finals, which was one of the more anticlimactic sporting events in recent memory, I’d like to first say goodbye to the managers that left this week, Willie Randolph and John Mclaren (sorry Gibbons- you’re out of the loop). The truth is I’m really Willie’d out, but lets do this anyway. I have lived in New York my entire life (as a Braves fan), so following the greatest regular season collapse of all time (the greatest all-time collapse was of course, the Yanks of 04’) I knew that the only way Willie Randolph would be forgiven by the Mets fans, was to win them a title. Not a playoff appearance and not a World Series appearance. A title.

I could understand where they are coming from (utter humiliation), but the truth is it’s because Mets fans are schizophrenic in a way. They over dramatize every little thing. They are the Bill Walton of fans (more on the legendary broadcaster/player in a few). They put themselves through more highs and lows than any other fan base, except maybe the Cubbies and Phillies fans. They are in a love/hate relationship with their team. One day it’s “Reyes for MVP”, the next day its “trade Reyes for a bag of balls”. I remember when they booed Mike Piazza for heavens sakes. And if they ever experience a really painful moment with their ball club they will never forgive and forget (I actually agreed with most Met fans that said Willie should’ve been fired after “the collapse”). So we all knew that Willie would have had to storm out of the gates to win back support just from inside the organization before making it right with the Shea faithful (what a way to say goodbye to Shea. I’m lovin it!!!!).

So for Willie to get off to such a listless start with such a talented team it was a no-brainer to ax the former yankee. But as everyone was preaching for the past week, the way they went about it was wrong. Not because they did it at 3 a.m. ET, (it was just an hour and a half after the conclusion of the game), but because they waited so long to get rid of him (I’m having flashbacks of a Bob- "I belong in a nursing home" Murphy describing a shallow fly ball that somehow went over the wall). They should of done it after my Braves whooped them for a 4 game sweep in May, not after they win 3 out of 4 games and finally look like their somewhat conscious. But this Mets front office, from Omar Minaya on down just seems dysfunctional and unfaithful to each other (don’t get me started with this Tony Bernazard dude who just came out of the woodworks, who the hell is he?) It is a mess. But you know what? Winning could heal a lot of the wounds for these crazy fans. It could, but it won’t.

Mclaren on the other hand will not be remembered for a great collapse, just for a pathetic rant. It was a desperate attempt to ignite his team to start playing baseball up to the level of its talent. The rant didn’t help his team nor did it make it in to “Rant Lore”, where the great rants of all time reside.
A great rant is a memorable rant, what makes a rant memorable?
1. Scary. That we- the viewers are a bit scared of the events unfolding, like its possible the coach or manager might pull out a gun and shoot someone, like when Kevin Borseth, the Women’s Michigan coach who came storming into the press room slamming his stat sheets on the podium- http://youtube.com/watch?v=xENkpDpS8ks. Or when Oklahoma State Football Coach Mike Gundy went a little crazy at the reporter for printing an article about his QB. He looked like a crazy schoolteacher ready to snap and finish his remaining days in a mental institution- http://youtube.com/watch?v=5VytIZZzee0%20.
2. One-timers. There are those rants that are one-time rants that basically define the coach’s career. We find them kinda funny at first and over time we fall in love with them, to the point where on a boring day (when your unemployed and can’t play golf because of the weather, you’ll know what I mean) we youtube them over and over again. The top 3 of these have to be, in order- Jim Mora-“playoffs”?, Dennis Green-“so crown them”, and although I’m trying to strictly concentrate on coaches I must include A.I’s legendary “We talking bout practice, practice, practice” rant. I could’ve kept writing practice but don’t want to get sued by the “family guy” guys (although those bits are the most annoying part of that hilarious show)- keep reading, beacause this was by far the corniest joke of this article.
3. Classics. Then there are the classics, Knight, Piniella, Parcells, Guillen, Ditka. They have had so many great one’s that there isn’t any one rant of theirs that stand out in particular. We just love them all.
I’m not going to get in to the old-timers because we can be here all day (and you can’t youtube them).
4. The Fassel. My favorite one. In 2000, when the giants were 6-4 and struggling somewhat and his job was hanging in the balance, Jim Fassel went on a “I’m putting all my chips in the middle of the table” rant (I actually credit him with starting the poker boom. Notice to Norman Chad: royalty checks to my boy Jimmy here). The team ended up coming together and did not lose a game until the super bowl. Now that’s the way to do it.

A couple of points on the finals: It was really a bizarre finals, for almost everyone got it all wrong. We all thought the Lakers were the superior and mentally tougher team (“they are Kobe-led, of course their focused”), while the Celtics were barely making it through their early rounds and were running on fumes. We were all wrong. The Celtics were so much better than we thought they were and what they displayed up to that point in the playoffs (it helps when one of your stars-Allen decides to wake up from the dead). They weren’t tired; they suffocated the Lakers, to the point, where even the best player in the world got frustrated. The Celtics played with urgency and the poise of a championship team, while the Lakers played like they were scared of the moment and wanted to just go home. The entire Lakers team really started playing apprehensively as soon as the noose on their leads starting shrinking. Game 4 was the perfect example, and that game really did them in. Their dream ended that night in the Staples Center- in front of Larry David. I’m calling it the “Larry David Curse” (it was like that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode when Larry also sat courtside and tripped and injured Shaq). What was he doing there anyway? I guarantee Larry doesn’t know the difference between Basketball and Dodgeball.

Kobe was climbing up the ladder of legends this season to where he was about to crack top 5 of all time, but his mediocre performance in the finals brings him back to earth (he’s currently in the 8-12 greatest players of all time). The comparison everyone was making between him and Michael was unfair and very premature. He did win 3 titles when most people thought he wasn’t the important player on his own team. I disagreed with that perspective. He might’ve not been as dominant as Shaq was, however he was the one hitting all the clutch shots down the stretches of those championship games (remember “hack a-Shaq). Sometimes Shaq wouldn’t even touch the ball in big spots. Kobe was the glue of those teams (like George was the glue on Seinfeld even though Jerry got all the accolades). But he had to win his own title, Shaq-less. It didn’t happen. The comparisons will eventually return to our water coolers one day, but not for a very long time.

Quickies: (these are stupid remarks just to get keep you reading)

Prince Fielder hit an inside the park home run this week. Yes, that Prince Fielder!!!!!!.

The Bill/Luke Walton Father’s day halftime interview was fascinating. Firstly I must say, that Bill has been getting an unfairly bad rap in the last few years. Sports in general needs guys like him to excite us during the dog days of our respective sports seasons. So what if he overplays some events just a tiny bit? like when Derek Fischer steals the ball-“that was the greatest steal in Lakers history”, big deal!!!. He’s awesome. And watching him with those 70’s glasses smiling from frame to frame at a-very uncomfortable or- very high on something- Luke, was priceless. During the interview I was cringing and loving it at the same time.

Cubbies fans: your 100th year anniversary may very well be a sweet one.

Chipper will still hit .400 for the entire year. Take it to the Bank.

Uncle Dave